Broken Marriage: How Staying Together can be Harmful to the Children

There is an often-quoted cliché that even if a broken marriage exists, it is better to stay together for the sake of the kids. In fact, when a broken marriage exists, there are some very real ways in which parents staying together can prove to be harmful to the children.

Models Unhealthy Relationships

Children are inherently observant and pick up behavioral cues from their surroundings. A primary source of these cues are their parents. If parents are constantly fighting, disrespecting each other, or clearly unhappy in their marriage, children might grow up with a distorted understanding of what a relationship should look like. They may come to view such turbulent relationships as normal and acceptable, ultimately leading themselves into similar toxic situations in their adult lives.

Creates a Stressful Environment

An unhappy marriage often results in a home filled with negative energy, constant arguments, palpable tension and evident unhappiness. This can lead to a highly stressful environment for children who need a peaceful and loving environment to grow. This constant stress can be detrimental for a child's mental health and overall wellbeing, impeding their development and growth.

Lead to Feelings of Guilt

Children are often unable to fully comprehend the complexities of a relationship and the reasons behind their parents' unhappiness. As a result, it's common for children to blame themselves for their parents' marital problems. They may feel that they are the cause of the arguments and tension, leading to a sense of guilt and self-blame. This could be highly damaging to their self-esteem and self-worth and can affect their emotional development.

Hinder Emotional Development

Children growing up in tense environments may find it difficult to understand and express their own emotions effectively. Due to the lack of emotional stability in their immediate surroundings, they might suppress their emotions and find it challenging to develop emotional maturity. This can result in them having difficulty handling their emotions as adults.

Cause Anxiety and Depression

The emotional distress caused by a broken marriage and living in an unhappy household can lead to severe mental health issues like anxiety and depression. These conditions can persist into adulthood if not addressed timely, and can impact various aspects of their life including personal relationships, academic performance, and career growth.

Lead to Behavioral Problems

In an attempt to cope with stress and trauma, children might start exhibiting behavioral problems. This could manifest in various forms such as aggression, withdrawal, rebellious behavior, or even poor performance in school and other social settings. These problematic behaviors can often extend into adulthood, affecting their social interactions and relationships.

Affect Their Academic Performance

The incessant stress and emotional turmoil can affect a child's cognitive function and ability to concentrate. This can lead to a significant decline in their academic performance. The reduced academic performance and lack of focus can stifle their intellectual growth and create long-term consequences for their educational and career prospects.

Affect Their Future Relationships

Children who have never witnessed a healthy, respectful, and loving relationship may struggle to form and maintain such relationships in their future. This can lead to a vicious cycle of unhealthy relationships, creating a pattern that may be hard to break and causing them continuous emotional distress.

Lead to Low Self-Esteem

Living in a constantly unhappy and stressful environment can make children question their worth. They may start believing they are undeserving of happiness and love, leading to low self-esteem. This can seriously impact their confidence and ability to excel in different facets of life, including academics, career, and personal relationships.

Create a Sense of Instability

Children need a stable, predictable environment to thrive. Predictability provides them with a sense of security which is crucial for their development. An unhappy marriage, filled with unexpected arguments and conflicts, can create a sense of unpredictability and instability. This can cause immense stress and anxiety in children, hindering their growth.

Affect Their Physical Health

The chronic stress resulting from an unhappy home can also manifest physically, resulting in symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, and sleep problems. Prolonged stress can even lead to more severe health issues like heart disease and other stress-related conditions.

Impact Their Overall Happiness

Finally, staying in an unhappy, broken marriage can rob children of their joy and happiness. It can cast a dark shadow over their childhood, potentially leading to long-term consequences for their happiness, satisfaction, and success in life. Instead of cherishing their childhood memories, they might look back at them with pain and sadness. If you have any questions concerning divorce, call (201) 845-7400 for a free consultation.

---