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Caring for Yourself in Divorce

Even when a divorce is what you want, it can still be an incredibly stressful time in your life. While you may be tempted to just grit your teeth and get through it as quickly as possible, it's important to take care of yourself during the NJ divorce process. Waiting until your divorce is finalized to start tending to your personal needs will only make things more stressful than necessary. Here are six great ways to take care of yourself during a divorce:

Hire a Great NJ Divorce Attorney

Hiring a qualified divorce attorney isn't just about making sure you get a fair financial settlement. It also removes undue stress from your life.

Instead of you needing to keep track of paperwork and court filings, your attorney will do so for you, greatly reducing the chance of costly errors. If your divorce is contentious, a great attorney can create an emotional buffer by being the one to communicate with your ex so you don't have to.

Boost Your Immune System

Experts believe that the more stressful your divorce, the higher your risk of getting sick. This makes sense because stress is known to weaken your immune system. To help counteract this, do things that boost your immune system.

Eating a nutrient-rich diet full of veggies and antioxidants is a good place to start. If you have trouble getting enough fruit and veggies in your diet, try starting each day with a green smoothie. Exercise and relaxing activities such as deep breathing can also give your immune system some extra ammo.

Find a Place of Your Own

It can be difficult to move on or get the mental and emotional space you need if you are still sharing a home with your ex during your NJ divorce. If at all possible, find a place of your own to live, even if this means taking on an extra part-time job to afford it. If this isn't an option, consider temporarily staying with a friend or family member, or at least moving to a guest room or separate area of your home.

Talk it Out

Talking about your feelings can help you to process them and move on. Open up to a trusted friend or family member. Just avoid obsessing about your ex; this is no good for you, and your friends and family will probably get tired of it fairly quickly. A better option is to make an appointment with a therapist who will help you process the events of your marriage and learn better coping and relationship skills.

Learn Something New

When going through a NJ divorce, it's tempting to mentally rehash the same stories and hurtful memories. Get your brain on a healthier track; distract yourself by learning something new. Now is the time to take that foreign language or salsa dancing class you've always wanted to try. As an added bonus, you may make new friends in the process.

Add Self-Care Rituals to Your Life

This is the time to pamper and be gentle with yourself. Divorce can feel chaotic, so it's a good idea to add things to your life that make you feel rested and calm. Something as simple as a hot bath with a cup of herbal tea at the end of the day can have a huge impact on the way you feel. Massage, exercise, writing in a journal, and cooking nourishing meals for yourself are other ideas to try.

With a competent attorney to oversee the legalities, you can concentrate on tending to your geographical, physical, and emotional needs. Divorce doesn't have to be the most challenging time of your life. By following these steps, you can help use your divorce as an opportunity for taking care of yourself.

If you have any questions about the divorce process, call the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen at 201-845-7400 for a consultation with a knowledgeable New Jersey divorce lawyer.


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Peter has integrity, and values his relationships with his clients beyond his financial relationship with them. For me to say this about any lawyer is really saying something. He is compassionate, straightforward and knowledgeable. I would easily recommend him to anybody. Lewie W.
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Peter Van Aulen handled my case with great diligence and integrity. He is also a compassionate individual who realizes what a difficult time divorce can be emotionally. Peter works hard and doesn't take any shortcuts in preparing for a case… I highly recommend Mr. Van Aulen and his staff. Chuck Solomon
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