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Five Common Divorcing Parent Mistakes

New Jersey divorce cases with children can prove to be particularly complicated. If you are divorcing and have children, you are wise to understand some of the commonplace mistakes made by parents during New Jersey marriage dissolution proceedings. You are wise not to repeat the same mistakes made by others when it comes to being a divorcing parent. The five most commonly make divorcing parent mistakes are:

  • Interfering with the other parent’s custodial or parenting time rights
  • Bad mouthing the other parent to a child
  • Using a child as a divorce tool
  • Giving a child false expectations related to a marriage dissolution
  • Failing to coparent
Interfering With the Other Parent’s Custodial or Parenting Time Rights

Of the most commonly occurring divorcing parent mistakes is interfering with the other parent’s custodial or parenting time rights. In basic terms, this type of mistake typically involves preventing the other parent from exercising his or her court ordered custodial or parenting time rights.

A relatively frequently occurring example of this type of error occurs when the noncustodial parent gets behind on child support. The custodial parent attempts to prevent the noncustodial parent from exercising his or her parenting time. This type of conduct likely violates an existing order to the court. Courts take a dim view of this type of behavior. There are specific lawful steps a custodial parent can take in this type of situation. Blocking or interfering with parenting time simply is not one of them.

Bad Mouthing Other Parent to Child

Another common divorcing parent mistake is bad mouthing the other parent to or in front of a child. The bottom line is that divorcing parents should always avoid making negative statements about the other parent in front of the children. This is not only harmful to a minor child but can also result in the court sanctioning the offending parent.

A New Jersey divorce court is very likely to take a dim view of a parent bad mouthing the other parent. For example, if a custodial parent bad mouths the noncustodial parent, a divorce court might go so far as to change custody in that case.

Using Child as a Divorce Tool

On a related note, a serious mistake that raises its head in a good many New Jersey divorce cases is the use of a child or the children as a tool. By that it is meant that a party to a divorce uses a child or children to retaliate against the other parent or to gain some type of advantage of the marriage dissolution proceedings themselves.

Using a child for leverage in a divorce or as a tool in some other manner can have a lasting and notably negative impact on the life of a child. A young person in this manner can suffer what prove to be serious emotional or mental health issues. Some of these issues have the potential for persisting for an extended period of time.

Giving Child False Expectations Related to End of Marriage

If you want to avoid common mistakes made by parents during divorce, a key thing to avoid is giving a child false expectations. When parents are in a divorce proceeding, when parents know that the marriage is over, a child does not benefit by being provided false expectations about the prospect of the parties reuniting.

As is the case with using children as tools during a divorce, giving a youth false expectations during a marriage dissolution proceeding can have negative consequences. In some in stances, these consequences can include profound mental or emotional health issues.

Failure to Coparent

In the grand scheme of things, perhaps the most important step that can be taken by parents in divorce is to agree to engage in cooperative parenting going forward into the future. Cooperative parenting has been demonstrated to be in the best interests of a child. Children of divorce who have parents that engage in cooperative parenting tend to be healthier on all fronts – emotionally, psychologically, and physically.

Your lawyer can provide additional information about what to do and not due during the course of your New Jersey marriage dissolution proceeding. This includes when it comes to matters associated with parenting during the course of a divorce case. Call today at 201-845-7400.


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