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Guide to Document a Parent with Substance Abuse Issues During a New Jersey Divorce

Substance abuse is a relatively commonplace issue during New Jersey divorce proceedings. If you are involved in a divorce with children and you have a spouse who appears to have a substance abuse issue, there are some specific guidelines to consider to document the situation in an effective manner.

Keep a Detailed Journal
  • Maintain a daily log of incidents related to the parent's substance abuse.
  • Record dates, times, and specific behaviors observed.
  • Note any impact on the children, including missed appointments, school events, or visitations.
  • Document any conversations or admissions about substance use.
Gather Evidence
  • Collect any physical evidence of substance abuse (e.g., empty bottles, drug paraphernalia).
  • Take photographs or videos of concerning behavior, if safe to do so.
  • Save text messages, emails, or social media posts that indicate substance abuse.
  • Keep records of financial transactions related to substance purchases.
Medical Records
  • Obtain copies of relevant medical records, with proper authorization.
  • Document any hospitalizations, emergency room visits, or treatments related to substance abuse.
  • Keep track of prescribed medications and their usage during a New Jersey divorce.
Legal Documentation
  • Record any arrests, DUIs, or legal issues related to substance abuse.
  • Obtain police reports if applicable.
  • Document any violations of existing court orders or custody agreements.
Witness Statements
  • Gather written statements from witnesses who have observed the substance abuse or its effects.
  • Include statements from family members, friends, neighbors, or childcare providers.
  • Ensure statements are dated and signed.
Professional Evaluations
  • Seek evaluations from substance abuse counselors or addiction specialists.
  • Request reports from therapists or counselors working with the children.
  • Consider obtaining a custody evaluation from a court-appointed expert.
Impact on Children
  • Document any changes in the children's behavior, academic performance, or emotional well-being.
  • Keep records of therapy sessions or counseling for the children.
  • Note any concerns expressed by teachers, coaches, or other adults in the children's lives.
Financial Records
  • Document any financial instability or mismanagement related to substance abuse.
  • Keep records of unpaid bills, job losses, or depleted savings.
  • Track any money spent on substances instead of family necessities.
Treatment History
  • Document any attempts at rehabilitation or treatment programs.
  • Record attendance at support group meetings (e.g., AA, NA).
  • Note any relapses or discontinued treatments.
Communication Records
  • Save voicemails, text messages, or emails that demonstrate erratic behavior or substance abuse.
  • Document missed communications or inconsistent contact with children.
Employment Records
  • Keep track of job performance issues, absences, or terminations related to substance abuse during a New Jersey divorce.
  • Document any workplace incidents or disciplinary actions.
Safe Storage
  • Keep all documentation in a secure, private location.
  • Consider using a password-protected digital storage system for electronic records.
  • Make backup copies of all important documents.
Consult Professionals
  • Work closely with your divorce attorney to ensure proper documentation.
  • Consider consulting a family therapist for guidance on protecting the children's well-being.
  • Seek advice from a substance abuse specialist on documenting addiction-related behaviors.
Focus on Facts
  • Stick to objective observations and avoid emotional language in your documentation.
  • Be specific and detailed in your records.
  • Avoid making assumptions or diagnoses; focus on observable behaviors.
Consistency is Key
  • Maintain regular, consistent documentation during a New Jersey divorce.
  • Update your records promptly after incidents occur.
  • Establish a routine for reviewing and organizing your documentation.
Child Safety Plan
  • Document any safety measures implemented to protect the children.
  • Keep records of any emergency contacts or procedures established.
  • Note any instances where the safety plan was necessary.
Collaborative Documentation
  • Work with other caregivers or family members to maintain consistent records.
  • Ensure all parties involved in documentation understand legal and ethical boundaries.
Ongoing Assessment
  • Regularly review your documentation to identify patterns or escalating behaviors.
  • Be prepared to adjust your documentation strategy as circumstances change.
Legal Compliance
  • Ensure all documentation methods comply with local laws and regulations.
  • Avoid any actions that could be construed as harassment or invasion of privacy.
Self-Care
  • While documenting, don't neglect your own mental health and well-being.
  • Seek support from therapists or support groups for individuals dealing with a spouse's addiction.
  • Remember, the goal of documentation is to provide a clear, factual record that supports the best interests of the children. Always prioritize the safety and well-being of yourself and your children throughout this process.

If you need to talk to an attorney about a parent with substance abuse and a New Jersey divorce, call the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen, at (201) 845-7400 for a free consultation.


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