Key Differences Between a Healthy and an Unhealthy Relationship

If you’re married and contemplating divorce or are having issues in your marriage, you may have questions about the key differences between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship. There are a set of five markers that can assist you in ascertaining whether or not you are in a healthy or an unhealthy relationship:

• Open communication
• Mutual respect
• Mutual trust
• Mutual support
• Sexual relationship

If your relationship seems to have devolved to become rather unhealthy, but you would like to make a legitimate and reasonable attempt to repair it, you should consider seeking professional therapeutic support from a marriage counselor or some other type of relationship specialist.

One of the most essential elements of a healthy relationship is open and honest communication between a couple. Of course, there can be occasions in which communication between a couple is not open or honest. Provided these are isolated incidents, a relationship might be classified overall as being healthy.

A healthy relationship is marked by mutual respect between the parties. They may have disagreements, but such conflict is addressed and resolved in a manner in which each party to a couple demonstrates respect.

Mutual respect must be real and not fanciful. The reality is that gaslighting is a common occurrence in relationships in this day and age. Gaslighting is defined as a form of psychological or emotional abuse in which a person in a relationship makes the other question their memories, perception of reality, even their sanity. Gaslighting between partners illustrates a lack of mutual respect and the existence of an unhealthy relationship.

In a similar way, a healthy relationship is identified by mutual trust between the partners. Trust is demonstrated in both directions. You trust your intimate partner and your significant other trusts you as well.

In addition to trust between the parties being complimentary, it is also consistent. In other words, a healthy relationship is marked by parties consistently trusting one another. There may be isolated occasions in which a partner has questions about a partner’s veracity. Again, such an occurrence is not commonplace. Moreover, a healthy relationship is marked by the parties being able to discuss a trust-related issue between themselves – open communication as was discussed at the start of this article.

In a healthy relationship, in a healthy marriage, the partners provide mutual support to one another. There is no significant imbalance in this arena. For example, as a general rule in a healthy marriage relationship, one spouse’s sole purpose is not to support the aspirations of the other spouse.

There can be times within a marriage where there is something of a support imbalance. By way of example, if one party is pursuing a higher education, the other spouse may be placed in a position to provide more support to the matriculating spouse that is being received back at a particular point in time. However, this type of situation is not a permanent status quo in the marital relationship. It is temporary, transitory.

As a general rule, when it comes to a marital relationship, the sexual component of that relationship is part of an overall consideration of the health of that marriage. Many experts are of the professional point of view that problems in other aspects of a marriage can negatively impact the sexual relationship between spouses. Having said that, if issues do arise in the sexual relationship between spouses, those types of problems can impact other aspects of a couple’s relationship, including:

• Communication
• Trust
• Respect
• Support

If you have found that your marital situation has devolved to a point of being unhealthy, you may be considering a divorce. If that is the case, the nest step in the process is to schedule a free initial consultation with an experienced, understanding New Jersey divorce attorney, like a member of the legal team at the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen.

You can schedule a free initial consultation with a skilled New Jersey divorce lawyer at our firm by calling us at 201-845-7400.